6 Reasons to Shack Up With Your Girlfriend

by Nathan Rambeck on

  1. If you get married there is too much paperwork required when you want to toss her out like yesterday's leftovers.
  2. If you get married she might get the impression that you are actually going to provide for her and she might not put up her half of the rent.
  3. If you get married, she's gonna want to start having babies and that is really gonna interfere with your Friday night drinking binges.
  4. You need to try her out for a few years before you make any real commitments.
  5. It's easier to talk your girlfriend in to having an abortion when you're not married.

And the #1 Reason

  1. God said sex outside of marriage is wrong, and you are not about to let Him tell you what to do.

The Bible teaches us that God forbids sexual immorality. In the book of Hebrews we read, "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge." Heb. 13:4

God created us in such a way, that sex is only honorable within the confines of the lifetime commitment of marriage. God doesn't just make up random rules. He forbids certain behavior for good reasons. Because of it's very nature, sex is extremely destructive outside of the safety of the marriage relationship.

Consider these few points:

  • Sex typically results in children. God intended for children to grow up in the safety and nurture of both a mom and dad who are committed to each other for life. Growing up in a family with parents who refuse to commit for a lifetime is hurtful to kids; they know their dad (or mom) doesn't love them enough to stick around, and their important formative years are extremely unstable.
  • In this country, sex may result in pregnancy that will likely end in abortion. 80% of unmarried couples that get pregnant choose violence, instead of creating a loving home for their child.
  • Shacking up provides most of the benefits of marriage to a man without any of the responsibilities. The woman might spend years helping to build a home, and then get dropped for another woman.
  • The Bible says that sexual intimacy makes two people one flesh. It unites them in a way that nothing else can. It works to entwine their souls together. When a man leaves that relationship to pursue a more attractive mate or other interests, the resulting pain is usually unbearable. And it usually affects women much more than men, because God made women as more relational beings.

Those who engage in sex outside of marriage, are selfishly pursuing the benefits of marriage without owning up to any of it's responsibilities. This selfish pursuit causes hurt and pain not only to those involved in the immorality, but it also hurts others as described above.

Because sexual immorality is so destructive, God has promised to judge those who engage in fornication. It makes God angry when we engage in behavior that hurts those around us. The Bible gives many warnings to the sexually immoral:

  • Hebrews 13:4 - ...fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
  • Ephesians 5:6 - Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things [sexual immorality] the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
  • Colossians 3:5-6 - Because of sexual immorality (among other sins), the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:9 - Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

God gives these warnings, not out of hatred but out of love. He wants everyone who is guilty of these things to repent of their sins and turn to him for mercy, so that He can offer forgiveness and grace.

If these warnings apply to you, I plead with you to repent before God and put your trust in Jesus Christ so that your sins might be washed away. Don't make the mistake of simply trying to be a better person. Throw yourself completely on the mercy of God and ask him to change you from the inside out. If you truly humble yourself before God, He will wash away your guilt and give you new life.

If you are not familiar with the salvation made available to all people through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, I would encourage you to open a Bible and read through the Gospel of John and the book of Romans. You'll be amazed at how the words come alive on the page when you read the Bible with a humble heart.

How to Receive Salvation

Humble Yourself

God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. James 4:6

If you think that you are a pretty good person (better than most, at least), then read no further. You don't need Jesus Christ. Jesus said, I came for the sick, not the healthy. So, if you are healthy (ie. morally upright) then Jesus doesn't have anything to offer you.

But if you take an honest look at your own heart, stop giving excuses for your sin and selfishness, and humble yourself before God as one in need of mercy and forgiveness, then you are well on the road to salvation.

Trust in Jesus Christ

Did you know that Christianity is the only religion in the history of the world that offers the possibility to have your sins paid for once and for all?

Eastern religions teach you that your sin and guilt is imaginary, so you just need to be “enlightened.”

Islam, Judaism and Christian cults like Mormonism teach that guilt is real, but you need to earn God's favor by living as good as you possibly can and by doing religious rituals to make up the difference.

But the good news that God offers you, is this:

If you will believe that God's Son, Jesus Christ, bled and died to pay for your sins, and that He rose from the dead (Jesus can't help you if he is still dead), then you will be saved.

Saved simply means “rescued.” Rescued from your guilt. Rescued from judgment. Rescued from eternal death. Rescued from hell.

"The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart" (that is, the word of faith which we preach): that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the Scripture says, "Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame." For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. For "whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved." Romans 10:8-13


Nathan Rambeck is a full-time husband, father and software engineer; and a part-time Bible teacher, abolitionist and evangelist. He lives in the Dayton, Ohio area with his wife Jamie and 6 children. (Facebook)